The Miraculous Body of a Mother

I realized this morning, I have a brand new respect for my body.  This respect is obviously not for the physical beauty that motherhood has brought me.  It's because it is the body of a chronic survivor.  You will do things you did not think possible.  For example, anyone that knows me KNOWS that I do not function on less than 7 hours of sleep.  I've always been that way.  Even as a giddy junior high girl at church camp . . . I was the one shushing everyone else so I could get some shuteye.  

The other night I got much less sleep than what I require - and I survived.  I was a little beat the next day, but I got a little more sleep last night and now I feel almost as good as new.  

You wake up countless times to feed or change or burp your baby, and you feel soooo groggy, like you cannot possibly get out of bed.  Then once you are standing there over your baby's crib, you are invigorated . . . you even smile!  At 3AM!!!  

Anyways, being a mother puts you so intensely in focus, that you can do anything - especially when it involves your child.  

Now, having said that, Steven and I are seriously discussing whether I will continue pumping once I go back to school.  You see, I have always used every last minute of every allowed break to work on stuff for school.  I never just sit around and chat with other teachers or surf the web on my breaks.  I grade, plan, and make copies.  So, now if I am spending that time pumping, then I will have to go early or stay late . . . and I already go an hour early and stay at least 15 minutes after.  When will I see my baby?!  And when I do, what state will I be in?  Anyways, we are thinking about it.  What is best?  That Davie gets the best possible nutrients in her body, or that she gets the best possible version of me when she sees me?  I think the latter . . . but hopefully she can have both.  

Also, she has got that crazy newborn rash that looks so awful and painful, but everyone keeps saying that it's normal.  It still makes me sad.