the beauty of advocacy

Sometimes there comes a point (or many points) in one's life where they are not strong enough to make decision's for themselves. Sometimes they don't have the clarity of mind to know what is the best. Sometimes they are made to feel selfish for needing to take care of themselves. As a school teacher and a parent, I understand the importance of children having advocates - someone who will defend, support, and encourage them. However, I have recently learned that adults sometimes need advocates too.

I have been so fortunate to have recently seen the beauty of advocacy. I have been bullied and beaten by this situation at school (not people at school, mind you) and I was determined to be strong through it and do the job I committed to do. But the situation is taking it's toll on my mental, emotional, and physical state. It was beautiful and maddening the day I was venting to my husband, and he DEMANDED that I put in my two weeks notice. It was beautiful and frightening when I feared that my father would drive to the school and give someone (who knows who) a piece of his mind. It was beautiful and confusing this morning when I spoke to my motherly principal about what I was experiencing and she convinced me that I needed to take care of myself so I could take care of my family.

With that I gave my notice that I would start looking for something else to pay the bills. It is a shot to my pride to say goodbye to something that I was so excited to be a part of. But my advocates did for me what I could not do - and that is to pull the plug on an unhealthy situation without making me feel bad or selfish about it. I hope that I can be this for someone some day.