i love my child with everything in me. i want to spend time with her and play with her and care for her. but not having anything else to occupy my time, makes my priorities a tad lax. when i was teaching during the school year, even after an immensely taxing day, i would still come home and gladly feed and bathe and read and put my baby to bed and wake up with her if she needed me to. it was work, but it was different and refreshing work. now that it is all day everyday, i get exhausted of doing the same thing and caring for her 24/7. steven has been working his patooty off lately and has rarely been able to be home.
thankfully, my precious mother-in-law is watching davie all day today. i hardly know what to do with myself.
all this to say that for me, i am the best version of myself when i am working. i know how to divide my time and balance everything - because i have to. right now i am an unproductive sloth.